Novelists – How Are You With Handling Simultaneity?

Be A NovelistLife is Random

When writing your novel, you want your story to mimic real life. The goal is to create such life-like scenes, action, emotions, and dialogue that the reader feels as though she is right there in the midst.

That said, always keep in mind that fiction has order – real life does not. Everything in a novel is planned and has a distinct purpose. And you and I know – life is much more random than that.

Perfect Simultaneity is Impossible

In real life, things can happen simultaneously; several things can happen all at the same split second. Unless you have a way to pile the words on the page on top of one another, you’ll never be able to achieve perfect simultaneity in your novel. Once you accept that fact, creating your scenes will become much easier.

The answer is not to continually use the phrase, “at the same moment…” “at exactly the same second…” Or something similar. While you may fall back on this ploy once in a while, it’s better if you attack this challenge like a true professional, and experiment as to how to pull it off in an artful manner.

Let’s revisit the principle of order in fiction. This covers a wide array of facets of novel writing, but for the sake of this blog post, we’ll focus in on the cause-effect, motivation-reaction relationship.

Confusing Sequence Can Be SubtleBe A Novelist

Some of what I cover here will seem as if it should “go without saying.” However, the act of confusing sequence can be subtle and can sneak past your editorial eyes.

Hal walks into his office. There’s a note on his desk notifying him that his job has been terminated. His stomach feels like he’s been gut-punched. He slams the desk with his fist and kicks the metal wastebasket across the room.

Granted, in real life, some of these actions happen at the exact same moment. But it cannot be written that way. Everything in the novel is presented in chronological order so there is never any doubt of what happens when.

Give Your Reader Credit

You, then, must pretend that only one thing can happen at a time. You cannot write that Hal’s stomach feels like it has been gut-punched and at the same moment he slams the desk and kicks the wastebasket. Again, you don’t want to be constantly stating that everything is happening at the same time. Taking that route means you will be talking down to the reader. Give your reader credit; the reader gets it.

The very nature of writing follows this pattern – one word follows another on the page. Not printed on top of one another. The reader understands that Hal can be blinking, breathing, sweating, and swearing all at the same moment. But if you, as the novelist, feel you must present simultaneity rather than sequence you will most certainly confuse the reader.

Simultaneity obscures the cause-effect, motivation-reaction. (Or I should say an overplayed attempt at simultaneity.) Stick with sequence because that’s what gives the story meaning to the reader.

Granted, it is possible to write, Scowling, Hall grabbed the note off his desk. Again, as you become more aware of this potential challenge, you’ll discover your own secret methods of creating scenes that flow smoothly.

The logical progression of the motivation-reaction unit is this:

  • Motivating stimulus
  • Character reaction
    • Feeling
    • Action
    • Speech

We can almost hear Hal swearing under his breath as he kicks the wastebasket. Or perhaps he swears right out loud. But it can be written only in sequence.

In the course of working with novelists over the years, I have often read scenes that are out of sequence.

  Jake stiffened as the judge slammed the gavel down.

In this example, the motivation-reaction unit has been reversed. In an awkward attempt to create simultaneity, the author confused the sequence. When looked at closely, it proves to be an impossible occurrence. It can happen only thus:

Suddenly, the judge slammed down the gavel. Jake stiffened.

A Small Matter? Or Not

You may be thinking, The issue of simultaneity is a small matter in the whole scheme of things in novel writing.Be A Novelist

Perhaps.

And yet, this is what it means to hone your craft and sharpen your skills – disciplined attention to details. Check through your own writing and see if you have been faithful to the cause-effect, motivation-reaction sequence.

 

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Novelists: How to Break the Bad “Had” Habit

Do you want to breathe life into your novel? If so, use active verbs. It’s the active verbs that show something is happening. These are the strongest verbs. All other verbs come under the category of the “to be” verbs.

Static vs. Active

Be A NovelistThe to be verbs are weak because they’re static rather than active. You can see the contrast in the two examples here:

Carly was sitting in the chair.

Carly sat in the chair.

The exchange of the static verb was for the action verb sat, makes all the difference. If you want to incorporate a bit more action and sharpen the visual you might write:

Carly slumped in her chair.

Or:

 Carly shoved back the chair with a slam.

These are verbs that show something happening as they draw the reader into the scene.

Worst Culprit

Of all the to be verbs the worst culprit is had. That’s why I used the phrase in the title: the Bad “Had” Habit. So why do I say this is the worst one? It’s because it’s not only static, it’s a static state in the past. So it literally has two strikes against it.

          She had ridden her bike for two hours.

After the meeting had been dismissed, Mary hurried out the door.

What’s introduced here is a jerk in the story. It yanks the reader out of the present action and thrusts him back into past history. You may be thinking that the jerk is brief and momentary, and that’s true. But the use of had can become a bad habit. By introducing enough hads in one paragraph, everything grinds to a halt. You’ve bogged the reader down in past history.

While the reader may not be able to articulate what happened, it caused an uncomfortable disruption in an otherwise enjoyable reading experience.

No one can change what has already happened, so you don’t want to waste too much story time in moving backward. What the reader wants is forward motion; present action.

What’s the Remedy?

Be A NovelistThe trick to eliminating as many hads as possible is to bring the past forward into the present. At least you’ll be describing what happens in past tense instead of past perfect tense. Let’s go back to that sentence about Mary and the meeting. Try this on for size:

The moment Mary heard the gavel hit, and heard the words “meeting adjourned,” she hurried out the door.

Compare the amount of action in the second example, to the lack of same in the earlier example.

Use of Had in Flashbacks

As with any novel-writing techniques, you’ll run into exceptions. I’m certainly not trying to advocate the total elimination of the verb had. After all, there’ll be flashbacks in your story from time to time. But even then, once you establish the transfer into the past (the flashback), one or two hads are sufficient to let the reader know there’s been a time shift. Keep in mind that the continual use of had throughout the flashback is unnecessary and, as I mentioned previously, will only serve to bog down the story flow. (I won’t go into detail here about flashbacks. That’s another lesson.)

Break the HabitBe A Novelist

As you progress in polishing your novel-writing abilities, pay close attention to verb usage throughout. Once you become aware – once you are on the lookout for the culprit had – you’ll discover whether or not you have a bad had habit. And if so, you can take steps to break the habit.

 

Be A Novelist

Be A Novelist

Be A Novelist

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